Time Travel: 2064 to 2025
When My 80 Year Old Self Gets to Come Back and Experience a Day in the Life of Her 41 Year Old Self
I saw this carousal post on Instagram that had me bawling by the last slide. Literally standing in my kitchen sobbing.
What would it look and feel like for your 80 year old self to time travel back to the present for just one day?
I applied this sci-fi ish idea to myself and wanted to share the thoughts and feelings that came up.
The year is 2064, and I’m 80 years old. I get news that for just one day I get to time travel back to a day in the life of my 41 year old self in the year 2025.
I wake up to the sound of our bedroom door opening. I quickly glance at the clock sitting on the table next to the bed. It’s 7:30 am, which tells me it’s the weekend.
I hear the pitter patter of small feet running to my side. It’s Mila! And oh my goodness, she’s three! I look at her with wide eyes. My girl!
She says, “Mama, I’m up! Can I lay next to you?”
I tell her to get in, and she nestles up right against me. I can’t believe I’m holding my baby girl like this again.
Hold them tighter.
I look over her head and see that Vishnu is starting to stir. He looks so young and so at peace. He opens his eyes, smiles at me, and says, “Good morning, babe. And Mila!”
I cuddle with Mila while staring at Vishnu who’s managed to fall back asleep. This used to irritate me. But today? I’m just so grateful to be in this moment.
Savor a little longer.
A few minutes later, Kaiden walks through the door. He’s missing his top two teeth. His hair is going in every which direction. The first thing he says is, “Mommy, I’m hungry.”
Again, I can’t believe I’m staring at my little boy. His sweet face and big eyes.
Take more soul pictures.
Mila, Kaiden, and I make our way downstairs. The kids run to the playroom (look at all the toys!), and I walk into the kitchen to make pancakes. I smile as I walk around and stare at the pictures on the refrigerator. I see my parents and in laws smiling back at me. I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. I miss them!
Cherish your parents.
I make some pancakes just the way the kids like them, and then I watch them eat with pure delight. They go back and forth between chatting and bickering, and I just watch them. Mesmerized by how small they are. Their little hands and mouths and noses. My goodness!
In that moment, I see every version of them flash before my eyes. Big kids. Teens. Young adults. Older Adults.
It goes by so fast.
Vishnu walks into the kitchen at that very moment and hugs me from behind. I turn around and lean forward for a kiss. Tears in my eyes. He looks at me funny, smiles, and starts to make coffee. I watch as he moves around the kitchen. I can’t help but think (again), “He looks so young. So energetic.”
Love hard.
Later in the day, my mom calls. My mom! We talk about mundane things. But this time, I’m really listening. I’m hanging on to every word. It’s been a while since I’ve heard her voice. She passes the phone to my dad. And again, I’m holding on to his every word. His laugh. His questions.
My parents, I marvel! I just talked to my parents.
Hug them for a little longer.
The rest of the day flies by (as they always did). And with every twist and turn, I think about how lucky I was to raise these two children with this man. The tantrums, the whines, the attitude, the meltdowns…they bring a smile to my face because I know just how fleeting these days are. They passed me by in what felt like a a few seconds. I’m wiser now. But my heart aches for the 41 year old version of myself who understands but doesn’t quite get just how much she’s going to miss these days. How much she’ll long for just one more day with these little people, the love of her life, her parents, her sister, her friends.
Gratitude. Always.
It was hard some days. Full of a kind of hustle that I came to crave once the kids were grown and out of the house. The days were often long, packed, and busy. But man oh man, there was a lot of love.
I didn’t always get it right by any means, but I poured everything I had into this life. I gave it and all the people I loved my all.
Slow down. Soak it all in.
As Vishnu and I settle on the couch, I can feel myself getting sleepy. I give him a kiss and say thank you. I don’t want the day to end, but as all good things must, I know my time is coming to a close. I put my head on his lap, my favorite place, and feel his hand on my head. I no longer fight the urge to stay. I smile, knowing that it’s all going to be ok. No matter what.
Something to think about - if the 80 year old version of yourself time travelled back to your current season of life, what would he/she think, feel, say? This is what I call a perspective expanding exercise!
Shakti Credits and Debits
Shakti credits:
Kaiden and I finished reading Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone! It took a while to get through, but he’s officially a HP fan now! To be honest, it was a little hard to put my opinions about JK Rowling to the side, but I’m glad I did because Kaiden really got into adventures of HP and his friends.
I took Kaiden to a birthday party on Sunday, and I was just so proud of him. He didn’t know many people at the party, but he found a group of kids to play with and had a blast. Parenting is the hardest most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced, but small moments like this show me that we’re going to be ok.
As I was sitting in the waiting area of the car dealership (getting the car’s oil changed), I pulled out my phone to text a friend. In that exact moment, the technician walked over to talk to me about something. As soon as he walked away, my phone rang and it was THE FRIEND I WAS ABOUT TO TEXT! WILD! We said hi, and then the first thing out of my mouth was, “Did I text you just now?” HA! No, I did not in fact text her. We’re just connected in a mystical way! This gave me so much energy on a day where I really needed it.
Shakti debits:
I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster over the last week. The craziest thing is that I only feel the highest of highs (joy, happiness, etc.) and the lowest of lows (frustration, anger, sadness, etc.). There is no in between. I’m working through this by acknowledging and validating myself and really looking at the story I’m telling myself and rewriting it as needed. A work in progress and definitely energy sucking, but I’m working on it.
I got some discouraging news from a current coachee that’s 100% out of my control, and when I look at it from a certain lens, it doesn’t even have anything to do with me. But man, did it trigger my self-doubt as a coach. I definitely went in a bit of a spiral after reading her email, but thankfully, I was able to use my own coaching skills on myself. I may be feeling this one energetically for a bit.
Par’s Picks
I’ve been a long time fan of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, so naturally, when I saw that Glennon, Abby, and Amanda were coming out with a book called We Can Do Hard Things, I ordered it immediately. It’s a compilation of podcast interviews and their own personal thoughts on 20 of life’s biggest questions. I love the varying perspectives and the idea that there is no one way to live life. I highly recommend this book if you often find yourself asking big, deep, bold questions.
This post was absolutely beautiful!
Now I want to do this!